Bus Report #1089

 This week I watched a woman on the 22 Fillmore almost steal a man's wallet.

The woman was seated near the back door, spent most of the ride rolling blunts and counting a large wad of $50 bills. No joke, you know I wouldn't make up something that sounded so cliche.

I've seen her before; she has long fake eyelashes and wears old Ugg-style boots and tight leggings. Usually she sits by herself and stares out the window.
But not this time.

A man set his bag down by her feet and turned around. He should've kept his bag with him - ALWAYS KEEP YOUR BAGS WITH YOU - and keep your wits about you - but he looked a bit tired and probably thought the bag was safe on the floor between his feet.

The woman looked back, looked around. Her movements were familiar - like a cartoon burglar with a mask and striped shirt.

I caught her eyes and stared, because I knew what she was thinking.
She leaned forward and took her phone from her own open bag which was on the floor within reach of the man's bag. She fiddled with it a minute, then inched forward again and reached for the man's bag.
I coughed.
She looked around again. Sat up.
The man shifted a little but did not retrieve his bag.
She bent down again, farther this time, hands on his bag.
If she took anything I was ready to pitch a fit.
She unzipped the top an inch or so, then stopped when the man turned to adjust his grip on the pole. She sat back and returned to counting her cash, this time a new wad, of $100s.

He soon picked up his bag and went on his way.
Not knowing how close he came to losing his stuff.

If you see someone steal on Muni, please report it to the driver immediately. I was ready to do so, and it's the right thing to do.