Monday, August 09, 2010

Bus Report #533

Saturday night Sam (who will be posting reviews of the hotel bars we went to) and I headed downtown for an evening of drinking in hotel lobbies. Trust me, it was both more and less glamorous than you can imagine.
We caught a mostly empty 38 at 6th Ave. and settled in to seats towards the back.
At 3rd Ave., a pair of fare inspectors got on and made their way through the bus, checking people's Fast Passes, Clipper cards and transfers.
A woman sitting two rows ahead of us did not have any proof of payment. The female fare inspector sat down nearby and told her to go ahead and keep looking for her transfer, and if she couldn't find it she would get a ticket. It was sweet of her to give the woman a chance. Also, these inspectors were polite and friendly. We liked them immediately.
The male fare inspector moved to the back of the bus, where he kept an eye on the back door.
We watched the inspectors, watched the fare evader woman rifle through her bags over and over again.
At Fillmore the female inspector started to write up the woman's ticket. She explained how the woman could appeal the ticket if she found her transfer. The woman had some questions, all of which were answered by the inspector.
We got to talking with her. She was very chatty and gave us some tips on how to make sure we don't get busted for fare evasion.
Tip 1- Always keep your receipt from purchase of a Fast Pass or Clipper refill. In a pinch, the receipt is good proof that you did indeed pay for your pass.
Tip 2- If your Clipper card gets lost or stolen, report it immediately and have it canceled, otherwise someone else can use the Fast Pass or funds on the card.
Her tips were good, common sense really, but I appreciated them anyway.
Our bus approached the Van Ness stop.
A man was standing next to a tree, facing us.
"Is he peeing?" asked the female fare inspector.
He was, of course. Standing next to a spindly tree, a few feet from an idling cab, this guy was taking his sweet time. And we all were treated (punished?) with a full frontal view.
"This is like the third time this week I've seen guys doing that in public," I told Sam.
The female inspector started laughing, and pointing, and even rapped on the window.
"We can see you," she said. Then she shrieked. "He has a ring on it! Oh my gawd, he has a ring on it!"
This I did not see, but I am sure she was right. She kept laughing and pointing, and just generally cracking up. We were, too.
Too damn funny.
Everyone within earshot/eyeshot stared at the man and laughed.
The male inspector came over. "What do you think?" he asked his partner. "Should we ticket him?" he joked. He doubled over laughing. "We should ticket him," he repeated. "Because I don't think he has a transfer!"
"My partner thinks he's funny," the female inspector told us.
We thought so, too. Thought they were both pretty funny.


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