Bus Report #274

If I were the MUNI Santa here are some of the gifts I would give:

To all commuters who ride MUNI - If you can prove you've been buying monthly passes all year, a free Fast Pass in December.

For the smiley driver - Gift cards. Lots and lots of gift cards to places she likes to shop. Wherever that may be. She is so nice, she should have lots of gifts.

For the slightly mean driver with the bad PA system - A megaphone. And maybe some chocolate to try to make her nicer.

For Carmen - A trip up north to see her grandson.

For the man who looks familiar from the back - A new black jacket, since the one he wears now isn't black anymore. And I'd give him a few days where he can sleep in, since he looks so tired these days.

For the Handsome South Asian Chef - What to get for the chef who probably has everything? My phone number? A bottle of scotch? Both?

For Ramon - Passes to the movies. He's always renting movies but I bet if it was free he'd be happy to go to the Embarcadero Theater or the Clay.

For Ebony - Really comfortable sneakers, new dangly earrings, and a new job closer to where she lives.

For Nikolas - A parking space near his home in a garage, so his car doesn't get broken into again.

For the teen who always manages to sit next to me, even when the bus is empty - a warm, stylish winter coat. A couple of skip-school-without-consequence passes.

For the Alien Donut Man - He gets a new coat, too. A really warm one. And orthopedic shoes. And an opportunity to return to his home planet if that's what he wants.

And what gifts do I want from MUNI Santa? Same thing I always want: buses that run on schedule, passengers who pay their fares and are not anti-social freaks, and for the Cable Cars to be regular MUNI prices again and not $5.00, that's all.